Melinda Gordon Conversing With The Dead

From September 2005 until May 2010 CBS produced and aired five seasons of the supernatural drama Ghost Whisperer. Jennifer Love Hewitt played Melinda Gordon a young lady with a special gift; the ability to see and speak to Earth bound spirits (ghosts). She helped these lost souls and their grieving families resolve unfinished business in order for the ghosts to eventually cross into the light. Thanks to Hulu, my wife and I have spent valuable (yes, honey I said valuable and typed it in italics) time watching the life of Melinda Gordon.

Figured October would be the perfect time to discuss death. We will be discussing ghost dead not zombie dead (Ha ha, you see I know zombies are in and vampires are out).

Of all the gifts in the world to receive, conversing with the dead is pretty low on my list. Probably comes right after the gift of tooth decay and mental illness.

My apologies to Mitch Albom author of One More Day and The Five People You Meet In Heaven, but other than my parents, I don’t wish to speak to anyone from beyond unless its Bed, Bath, and Beyond. (My wife just bought these wonderful leaf shaped place mats for Thanksgiving. You have to see them). Every week the dead waste their time fighting and complaining with Melinda like Walmart shoppers on Black Friday. And if you believe courtesy and politeness are out of style, the dead don’t bother with any formalities. They are selfish, unforgiving, and cold. Well, maybe we shouldn’t be surprised by the cold part.

The dead don’t talk about sports, politics, or the weather. Even the ghosts of the elderly act strange. No mention of their hip replacement surgery, their rheumatoid arthritis, or cholesterol. And wouldn’t you know it; I have yet to see a smoking ghost. I guess they finally learned that cigarettes kill when they arrived on the other side. At that point, you may as well continue smoking, it won’t kill you again. Hey, Surgeon General we don’t need to see those disgusting commercials that ruin my late night snacking. Trust me, all smokers are going to quit.

On a positive note, if I received the gift of talking to the dead, I can talk to my parents again. My mom would complain about my poor diet. My father would snicker, still writing stupid crap? I told you to study accounting.

Yeah right, talking to the dead. This is one present I will definitely re-gift.

What are your thoughts? Would you like to talk to the dead?

Please note: asking for directions doesn’t count.