Badassery

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Yesterday, I had the pleasure of reading “bad ass” posts from three female bloggers. Those of you who have read my Devil Girl Diaries already know I have a weakness for bad girls.

These ladies (and I won’t say their names to be sure I don’t offend) have inspired me to write a bad boy piece.  This is out of my usual writing comfort zone, but here it goes.  A taste of bad boy Chimp.

 

Badassery

This New Yorker is not like other dudes
definitely, not like this latest generation
young punks who can’t pay a restaurant check
cowards looking for courage behind a cell text
I am good and bad and everything in between
I drink my Johnnie Walker straight with no ice
don’t want anything watered down
not my drinks, my words, definitely not my sex

I won’t ask you for a kiss, I will take it
don’t misinterpret me, there will be tenderness
this gentleman will hold the door open for you
and slap your ass as you walk by
don’t like making love, but I love making out
forget beds, don’t need cushion when I’m pushing
I’d introduce you to the floor, shower, and every wall
as we make perspiring memories with a sigh

I love the ladies, have enjoyed quite a few
Superman had kryptonite, I have my weakness too
love legs, feet, lingerie, breasts, and bad ass girls
yeah, I adore the ladies full of badassery
no I won’t flinch like other cowards
love creative women who challenge my brain
if a confident bad ass woman can blow my mind
well then, she may be able to handle the rest of me

 

Photo of my wife Allie taken Halloween 2014

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144 thoughts on “Badassery

  1. Ah, something fresh from the Chimp.
    I appreciate men who do not fear women’s strength and intelligence; men who stand beside their women while the latter work to achieve their dreams. Some men feel threatened by us confident women, they do the stupidest things and make a fool of themselves.
    I enjoyed this very much.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh My God! Andrew, when you told me you’d be writing a piece on badassery, I didn’t know you’d be such a smooth badass yourself. You are making me feel so good about being a badass. A little thing though, I have no idea why you thought I’d be offended. This is a compliment, a badass spanking another- what can get hotter than this? Love it, Andrew, Its spankilicious!!

    Liked by 2 people

              • I have been accused of being “fancy” and “precious” and “pe-tite.” (That’s Southern for petite. LOL
                And…acutally…the other day, my plumber was telling me about some sort of problem that was going to require more time and more holes….I said “you know I have a gun.” He laughed and said “I can tell you’re a bad ass.”
                Isn’t that funny?

                Liked by 1 person

                  • I think it was more or less that he saw the tools I had and I actually understood the terminology he was using. I know how to turn the water off at the street and have my own key. He said he knows men who don’t have a clue about that. I told him I was married to a man like that…clueless…but then he had me to do everything.
                    Yep….in some ways I’m a bad ass….I had to take care of things and you can’t do that if you’re a wimp or are afraid to break a nail…and believe me…it hurts my feelings to break one of my fingernails but I have ripped them out of the beds before. 😦

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • Most women don’t ever have to realize how strong they are. They actually have husbands who not only can do things…they are willing to…I mean Loser would sit there, while I took the garbage out. He DID mow the lawn for a few years and then turned it over to me. One day, he was sitting out by the pool, smoking, drinking beer and reading a book and my neighbor came over and said “how do you get away with this?” Loser said “hell, man. She likes it.”

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • I had to…but you know…I am about as self-sufficient as they come so I should probably thank him for that.
                      I know my daughters have said they wished they had paid more attention to what I did. When they struck out on their own, they couldn’t even hang a curtain rod, let alone fix wiring or plumbing..or a leaky roof. Fortunately, they have husbands who are handy and even help with the children! They scored! LOL
                      I love being independent and not having to depend on a man to do things for me. I can even change the oil in my car.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • There was a saying in our house….if somebody did or said something to one of my children, the others (and even Loser) would say “do they know who your mom is?” Everybody knew that you didn’t fuck with my children or you were going to hear their mama roar. I guess that makes me a badass, doesn’t it?
                      Ah….I miss those days.

                      Liked by 1 person

  3. Challenge accepted! I will handle you just fine… come on over and I’ll prove it. Ding walk to too fast… I have to grab your ass as you walk by… and whatever else I want to grab. Oh and of course, I’ll blow your…. mind. 😇

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Do I have to tell you how this makes me tingle? Do I need to put into words how my imagination bloomed with the imagery of exploring every surface, wall and alleyway? Shall I describe how I would do everything possible to make sure you would have no choice but to kiss me, touch me and claim me because I would have driven you to the brink of sanity? Do you realize I liked this? 💋

    Liked by 1 person

  5. nice, I like the honesty here, good one :). I think most men would be pleasantly surprised (or terrified) at just how “badass” we seemly quiet ladylike types can be when the mood and man is right! nothing as good as wild and crazy sex with a man who knows what he is doing but who also is respectful and caring!! love your writing and good for you for being willing to admit to and share your badassness! Michelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laughing. Most men are terrified of stron women, of a woman who make more money, or a woman unafraid to ask for what she wants. Young men no longer know how to woo a woman unless it is by text. I can go on and on. I am a softie. Pro woman. I consider myself Bad Boy Lite if there is such a thing. Thanks for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. That was fun to read. I’m picturing the Lonely CHIMP as a bad a_ _. I may have to wear sunglasses and turn the base up when I read your works in the future. Heck, I may even lower my pants to the mid thigh position (as I emulate the youth of society) to appreciate the words more thoroughly. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, you’re talking about empty headed boys that never matured. Badass girls are confident. Their confidence is sexy. Men nowadays are mature. So many of them hide behind their cell phone texts and their playstations. Thanks for stopping by. Keep fighting.

      Like

  7. Andrew!! I love this! 😀 Do you have any single chimp, I mean male friends that would be interested in a woman, working on her MBA, loves the beach, spends time with friends and family, goes paintballing, goes on road trips, is up for trying new things, building forts, and oh, loves sex!?!!

    Seriously, I was born in the wrong generation! haha! Guys these days would rather play video games than ‘have fun’…I don’t get it. Literally, I was dressed in a similar outfit your wife is wearing in the photo, and the dude wouldn’t even pause his game. What a weirdo, huh?

    Your wife, Allie, looks confident and stunning! I am sure you two compliment one another very well! 🙂 The badass duo!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. “Badassery” well done! Ha, especially since you feel it’s not in your comfort zone, always good to take a walk on the wild side! A pleasure to read, well penned with some humor! Take care, enjoy the week. ~ Mia

    Liked by 1 person

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