Lonely Author Tells All in his new tell all book entitled “Tell All.”

Yes, staying with the “Love theme” Lonely Author has decided to pen a “Tell-All.”  Never a smoocher & teller, the time has come to spill the beans in hopes of earning some bread.

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As you can see, Mother Lonely Author wanted a girl. I am not proud of this.

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Even through my early years, she insisted I get in touch with my feminine side. I am not proud of this either.

maxresdefault (2)Yes, Lonely Author worked his way through college as a pole swinger.  My stage name was Lonely Stripper.  I am not proud of this either.

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Okay, let’s get down to the down and dirty stuff. Yeah, Paris Hilton. What can I say. We were regular lip lockers. She wasn’t bad. In the end I had to break her heart. Her kisses were too rich for my tastes.

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Yes Beyonce. Terrible shame we couldn’t work things out. She went totally bananas. So, I had to cut off the monkey business.

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Lady Gaga and Lonely Author had a Bad Romance. Where do you think she got the idea for the song?

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Kim K., family, and friends wanted to have some kinky fun with Lonely Author.  Obviously, I had to turn them down. Strange thing is they swore I was a swinger.

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This one breaks my heart. Me & Katy Perry, uh-huh. Lonely Author actually discovered the talented brunette. A little know fact is she penned her first song after one of our classic smoochfests. The song was originally entitled, “I Kissed A Chimp and I Liked It.” Sadly, we broke up because of creative differences. I think she’s never recovered.

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Here is Lonely Author raking in the dough when his Tell-All hits the book stores.

(Please note: No animals were harmed making this post).

Have a wonderful week.

Keep smiling.

Keep writing.

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119 thoughts on “Lonely Author Tells All in his new tell all book entitled “Tell All.”

  1. I love your humour. This cracked me up big time. I was in stitches and the no animals were harmed reference almost killed me after such laughs. Have a wonderful week too and keep smiling AND making us smile 😀 guffaw actually 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow! You broke Paris Hilton’s heart? You, bad guy! 🙂 And then you dumped Lady Gaga and Katy Perry… You’re a Casanova Chimp :)). A lot of strange things happened in your life. Very hilarious post. You made me laugh. Thanks 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you for keeping our little thing private. It will protect a lot of innocent people. I do miss that fur and OH BABY, that tail. I get weepy every time I walk through the produce department and see those lovely yellow memories. Forever my little love monkey. FOREVER! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lonely Author has aired all his dirty laundry and left nothing hanging…:) Man, I can just imagine the size of this chimp’s ‘little’ black book 😀 Entertaining, in true LAB fashion, my friend. Thanks for the smiles 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: FEATURED: Lonely Author Tells All in his New Tell All Book entitled ” Tell All ” #LonelyAuthorBlog | Ace Sales & Authors News

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