Yes, staying with the “Love theme” Lonely Author has decided to pen a “Tell-All.” Never a smoocher & teller, the time has come to spill the beans in hopes of earning some bread.
As you can see, Mother Lonely Author wanted a girl. I am not proud of this.
Even through my early years, she insisted I get in touch with my feminine side. I am not proud of this either.
Yes, Lonely Author worked his way through college as a pole swinger. My stage name was Lonely Stripper. I am not proud of this either.
Okay, let’s get down to the down and dirty stuff. Yeah, Paris Hilton. What can I say. We were regular lip lockers. She wasn’t bad. In the end I had to break her heart. Her kisses were too rich for my tastes.
Yes Beyonce. Terrible shame we couldn’t work things out. She went totally bananas. So, I had to cut off the monkey business.
Lady Gaga and Lonely Author had a Bad Romance. Where do you think she got the idea for the song?
Kim K., family, and friends wanted to have some kinky fun with Lonely Author. Obviously, I had to turn them down. Strange thing is they swore I was a swinger.
This one breaks my heart. Me & Katy Perry, uh-huh. Lonely Author actually discovered the talented brunette. A little know fact is she penned her first song after one of our classic smoochfests. The song was originally entitled, “I Kissed A Chimp and I Liked It.” Sadly, we broke up because of creative differences. I think she’s never recovered.
Here is Lonely Author raking in the dough when his Tell-All hits the book stores.
(Please note: No animals were harmed making this post).
Have a wonderful week.